onward, upward, sidewaysward, spiralward

It took me a little while to start this new year. My work has taken a shift, a bigger one than usual, the kind that required me to come to a complete stop before it would budge again. I had to hold still. I had to just sit there - literally just sit in my chair in my studio - and ask myself what I am doing. Do I still make clothes? Why? Where does this wanting to make things come from? From a void or lack? Or from grace and spaciousness? Or does it come from something more complex and murkier, some precious balance of everything that I am? What do I want to bring into the world next? With whom do I want to share it? I was totally willing to walk away. I was without fear.  I sat there until it made sense again.

So. I have re-started - with fresh eyes and ears and hands - and I'm focused and in love with what I'm making. Of course I hope you are too. I archived my first five years of work and I'm not looking back. I know, I know, it's just clothing, right? What's she going on about? Well it is and it isn't. It's clothing and it's also my art. It's my way of making a path through the world and my way of connecting to it (and you) too. Making clothes for you is both a responsibility and a delight. I won't have it be one without the other. Onward, upward, sidewaysward, spiralward - I'm ready for whatever direction is next.

not a beetle, a buffalo

Lavinia Hanachiuc and I are working on a collaboration.
I can't even tell you what it is: I don't know.
I don't think she does either. So far, this is perfect.
I sent her some fabric, she sent me this video. 

me: I can't chop that up! I never should have given you anything canvas-shaped.
lavinia: you'll have to deal with it. bullfighter's cape. supervillain. you can do this Helen!
me: Oh I like bullfighter's cape.

When we know what it is, we'll let you know.
There might be beetles. There might be buffalo. There might be a bullfight. Or none of the above.

synchronicity, plastic and small

Elise, the model in our last photo shoot, makes dolls and collects dolls. She brought a few favorites for props. And a goose.

When we got to the vacant warehouse room, hauling our clothes and equipment and dolls, there was a teeny plastic baby doll there waiting for us in the dust.

The machine does not isolate man from the great problems of nature but plunges him more deeply into them. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Mr. Lentil rounded the end of the aisle pushing a cart ... "I know you don't want any more vintage sewing machines but I think you'll want to see this."

Oh heck yes. It's a 1961 Singer Slantomatic. Slant. O. Matic. And, my dear people, it. Is. Stellar. Shiny, virtually scuff-free, with all-metal gears and a bakelite pedal! It came complete with its manual, some bobbins, original cleaning brush, screw drivers, etc. - spare bobbins, and feet - oh the feet! Zipper foot, ruffler, bias-tape, free-from embroidery foot. I can't even remember all of them. Oh, and cams for fancy sitches.

It is so nicely designed. Everything fits in your hand. Everything turns just so. A good machine is so ... good. It didn't need cleaning but I oiled it up, adjusted the bobbin winding gizmo, and un-seized one of the cam-adjusting knobs and it is ready for action. In fact, it has already seen some. Oh and it can sew with double needles. Okay I'll stop now. Deep breaths. This is good. I am ready to plunge back in, more deeply ...

Americrab: the dress of former battles won and lost

I'm a little bit obsessed with the way crabs, crayfish and lobsters can grow back appendages they have lost in battle. And then, especially, in that awkward stage when they have one full-grown claw that has seen it all, offset by the other small, new, tender one on the other side. I guess it's because I feel that awkward and vulnerable in real life, but also proud and feisty at the same time.

I wanted to name this dress "You Win Some, You Lose Some" because it has mismatched sleeves in different stages of growth and regrowth. But then I thought - maybe it would sound fancier in French or Spanish. So I asked my resident multilingual friend. She furrowed her brow and said: "That  -- that is a peculiarly American phrase."

Of course it is! The whole "pick yourself up, dust yourself off" thingie. Rebirth, re-invention, the eternal frontier, the great rebuilding. Oh silly us. So here it is, the Americrab.