"Appealing workplaces are to be avoided. One wants a room with no view, so imagination can meet memory in the dark." - Annie Dillard

Sorry Annie. Not only do I already have an attractive studio, I am also coveting a better one. Okay, obsessing may be more like it. It's just down the hall and actually smaller than my current space. But it's a more appealing shape, it has funky lights, it's sort of industrialsexywarm, and I don't know, I just want it to be mine.

And supposedly it is mine for the taking, but I'll believe it when we're wheeling carts of stuff down there and building a new dressing room. Also did I mention that it's closer to the boiler room and has windows that will hold an air conditioner? For someone who is only comfortable between, oh, say 64 and 69 degrees Fahrenheit, this is crucial. It's not easy being a fragile flower.  I do the best I can.

antlers

I wrote a poem.

antlers

antlers on your wall
used to mean you had pulled on your boots in the dark before dawn
day after day and trudged,
snow crunching under them.

and at the very right moment held your very cold hands
and shoulder
and breath and eye steady
then not only shot but also gutted - the steam and the blood of it -
and dragged
that animal with the antlers
back to your house.

now it means
you got to the flea market on the train after brunch,
your cash ready, your coffee hot.
and them, waiting on a folding table,
resigned to hang on your wall and wink:
a life is a life.

who will be you?

"Is Charlie Parker one of a kind, or can we produce another Charlie Parker at will?

Answer: Yes, Charlie Parker is one of a kind.

Answer:  No we cannot produce another Charlie Parker.

We also cannot produce another you. If you spend your life trying to be Charlie Parker, who will be you?"

- William Parker, from Who Owns Music

morning poem

I wrote a poem.

My soap exists to wash me
just as I am here to feed the dogs.
Everything is easy in the morning.

And if I cry at eight pm - I often do -
tired and full of pity,
(mystery achievement, my ass)

I'll try to remember morning
when it's sweet and soapy, simple
and the dogs say:
hurry, feed us, we need to get back to sleep.

it's okay, some of them adjust more quickly than others

Release of the Bear Cubs. This dress is named after a dream I had years ago. I know, yawn, who wants to hear about my dream?

There were two bear cubs who had been kept safe while they hibernated in glass cases on either side of my brick fireplace. Then they were released from the back of a white van into a large lush green field. One cub instantly surveyed the area, perked up on its back legs, sniffing, then took off running for the forest in the distance.

The other seemed to be drugged, dazed, stumbled out of the van and just meandered. Once it fell over, and just as I began to worry about him (or rather me, since this is how I feel much of the time as I see other bears galloping off confidently) the narrator (British of course) came on to let us know "It's okay, some of them adjust more quickly than others." It's okay! Phew.

So this dress has one cuff that is expansive, bold, and galloping, and the other is a folded bud of a bear cub that will get there in its own good time.